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I miss you.

I thought I will be fine. I am content with myself, I am enough and I will be okay with or without you. Yes, I am and I'm sure I will, but...

But... I can't deny that you are special, and I miss you. Isn't it normal to miss a special thing in your life?
It has been 8 months since we first being partner in surg. rotation.
I don't know why we became strangers; out of the blue.
You didn't say anything but "nothing is wrong".
But why is everything seems so wrong for me?

I've been archiving your chat, but I can't stop opening my archive. I used to think to delete all of our convo, but it's hard, my fingers can't even move to the option.

They said if we fall in love with someone for over 6 months, then it will be a real love. Is it just a real love FOR me, but not for you? Is it only me who catch the feeling?

I know you left me, and I have to move on. Just like what you do. You know I'm in this phase of denial and acceptance, back and forth, it's honestly not easy.

I was fighting againts your manipulative friend, that shitty one. I was being alone, I was in need with you but you aren't there. I really wanna cry. I know you didn't hurt me. My expectation did, and you owe me nothing.

Huuuuuhhhhhh, I hate you. I hate you because I still love you.

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:)

I don't know why I fell in love with you, but I felt safe and secure. I could tell what I feel and you listened to me, yo'd never judged me. Dia ngehargain banget ketika aku butuh tenangin diri sendiri dulu. Dia paham kalo aku perlu waktu untuk bener-bener ngerespon emosi sedih dan kecewa aku. Dia tau gimana cara menghadapi dan memvalidasi perasaan dan emosi orang lain. Dia ga maksa aku untuk cerita dan nyelesein semuanya dalam satu waktu. I can't thank enough, bagi aku rotasi stase mayor yg itu cukup berat. Tapi dengan dia, rasanya bisa aku lewati dengan lebih mudah. Jujur sulit banget buat move on. Tapi setelah malam itu dia kasi penjelasan, harusnya aku bisa lebih lega untuk ngelepasin perasaan ini satu persatu. Makasih banget karena udah jadi bagian dari kenangan manisku, terutama saat koas. Aku berharap semoga suatu hari nanti kamu bisa dapet pasangan yang baikkkk banget, yg bisa menambahkan kebahagiaan dalam hidup kamu d...
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